Ride To Hell: Retribution

IS THIS THE WORST GAME KNOWN TO MANKIND...

The game is clearly amazing....

When I started to think about writing this page on my blog, I wanted to make a serious review where I actually try and find a good point about this game. I later thought that it could be impossible because this game is just UTTER DOGSHIT!

In this game you play as an ex solider named Jake Conway who comes home after doing some crap which I never gave a shit about and finding out that his world has changed and decides to try and live a peaceful life. Sadly that is all destroyed after his brother is killed in a gang related shooting and thinks that it is time to get some stuff done.

The first thing that makes this game awful is the sound quality when you are on a motorbike, as in, when riding around you cannot hear anything else apart from the dull noise of a motorbike engine going around. Oh what a good start. 

Second is that the gang is called The Devils Hand, at least please give us something with more imagination rather than a gang with a shit name randomly killing people because they ride bikes and think that it is funny.

Thirdly, the women are so incredibly demoralized that it is almost considered retarded. All they are there for is as a sexual object for Jake to stick his dick in before going after the gang that killed his brother. Again. 

Fourth problem is that you actually cannot kill any NPC's even though it gives us a warning against doing it. What is exactly the point of giving us this warning when we cannot do it anyway. It's like giving a prostitute money, not for sex mind you but to just hear her life story and how bad her life is to resort to prostitution. 

Fifth is the story is just boring, so boring that the only reason I played through this is to see if it gets any better and unfortunately it just more boring and stagnant as it goes in that I lost patience with the main character. I don't think that is really a good idea so blame the game developers.

Sixth is the main character, Jake. It is almost like he was born to be a boring twat. I've never played a game where when the main character got emotional I thought "get over it you sad mongrel and do something productive for once". Honestly I never thought I'd find a game where I never gave a toss about when a plot twist happens so I give Deep Silver Vienna and Eutechnyx props for developing a character so boring that I found going the toilet for a poo more entertaining then playing this game.

Seventh and final point(s) that if you are going to give us a game where we get "full customization" and "free roam"...ACTUALLY GIVE IT US! I am sick of game developers promising us so much yet giving us no such thing (looking at you Watch Dogs) and giving us some linear piece of crap where we get little pieces of customization and the tiniest bit of free roam.

OVERALL   0.1/10

The only reason there is a number is because of the 1% on the cover and that at least the developers tried.

The Superior Spider-Man The Movie Series? Part 2

NO ESCAPE FROM THE RAFT.

This arc begins with the aftermath of Otto's successful mind wipe of Peter Parker from his brain so no more Pete lingering like a bad smell of rotten fart and eggs, now we get the real Superior Spider-Man. And thank God for that. For the past few chapters we have had Pete being Spidey-Ock's moral compass and he seems perfectly in control without a moral compass so why have one anyway, Answer, mind wipe Pete and forge a path of superiorit

And this is what this arc gives us, a new lease of life for the old Spidey and transforms him into super-badass mode. This arc starts with a gang war starting between The Owl and some dragon villian who breaths fire from his mouth, which is soon cleared up by superior by him stating that is his suit and also by partially crushing his trachea and dealing with The Owl by near killing him because in Otto's old life, they always used to fight so why not lay down some dirt.

While all of that is happening, MJ's nightclub is also feeling the sting by being set a light by the Green Goblins little minions while she is trying to get a hold of Pete/Ock, the latter, instead of helping MJ, who is in a bit of a problem, decided to wrap up Tombstones little group and leave the fire brigade to sort out the nightclub as he doesn't want any disturbances while he sorts out a gang war.

Sadly, The Green Goblin shows his ugly head again and declares himself Goblin King but did he forget that Roderick Kingsley and the new Hobgoblin (Phil Ulrich) are kind of owning everything right now with a middle finger in the air to everyone who actually cares.

Spidey and The lizard, nuff said.

Anyway, time for the proper arc which is called No Escape and involves Spidey going with J.Jonah Jameson to see Alistair Smythe get executed yet sadly it doesn't exactly go to plan as the Spider Slayer gives upgrades to the Vulture, Scorpion and Boomerang as he decides to stage a massive breakout which fails horribly since Otto was in The Raft and is now out and about as Spider-Man, figured out all the different ways for him to escape and stops him at every turn therefore making escape impossible. Vulture, Boomerang and Scorpion inclusion in this arc would be unwanted if it didn't work but luckily it worked extremely well and shows us how Superior isn't so superior if his enemies get an upgrade, but only for a short period of time as he acclimatizes himself to the situation and kicks ass before going toward the Spider Slayer for a final battle. During that though, the Vulture is negotiating with his own hostages (which gives us a short bit of depth of the character), Boomerang is crawling out of the wreckage of his own upgrade after Superior makes it explode and the Scorpion goes against JJ while the Lizard pops out and decides to fight Scorpion because he is threatening to kill JJ, yet The Lizard is in The Raft for eating children back when Peter was in control but basically fuck it now that he is in control of his body even when he is in full Lizard mode.

The final fight leads to the death of Alistair Smythe and left me, personally, not caring that he was dead because there is so much other stuff going on before hand that I wanted to know if the Vulture left his hostages and if the Lizard beat the Scorpion but all became mundane once he died since all the power up just disappeared since Slayer was controlling it all and with him dead destroyed the link he had with all the nano bots.

All together, a nice little arc which wrapped up quite nicely, not going to ruin the shift in ending since it shows what lengths Superior is willing to go to get what he wants from JJ and shows JJ at his weakest against blackmail from our favorite new Spider-Man.

If you believe my idea that a movie series would be good, please give a comment on your thoughts. No hate though please.